I got an email from an established marketing agency, and my first thought? ‘Oof… this misses the mark.’ Not because it was terrible, but because it sounded like 80% of the emails I get. It was generic, overhyped, and full of buzzwords that meant nothing. Let's dissect it!

How to Write Emails Your Audience Can’t Ignore

Hey hey, guys! Happy Tuesday! ☀️

I’m writing to you from sunny Bali, fresh from a gym session, and honestly? I’m feeling really good—about life, business, and this pivot I’ve made. Now that I’ve officially shifted into launch strategy, everything feels so aligned, and I can’t believe I didn’t do this months ago. But hindsight is 20/20, right?

I know so many of you are going to benefit from this new direction. Unlike copywriting—where I worked with established entrepreneurs who had the resources to outsource their messaging—launch strategy solves a clear, tangible problem that so many business owners face.

Did you know that only 12% of female-owned businesses make over $100K annually? 😳 That means if you haven’t hit six figures yet, you’re in the same boat as 88% of women entrepreneurs.

But here’s the thing—I KNOW we can change that.

When you have consistent, strategic launches that don’t leave you feeling overwhelmed, it’s 100% possible to get out of feast-or-famine mode, have high-income months, and finally enjoy the freedom-filled life you started your business for.

And today, I’m diving into a key piece of that puzzle: how to write marketing emails that actually convert. Because no matter how great your offer is, if your emails blend in, they won’t sell.

So let’s get into it.

Why Most Marketing Emails Blend In (And Don't Convert)

As a marketer, I probably read emails differently than most people. I don’t just read the content—I audit it.

Every time I open an email, I’m consciously asking:

✔️ Why did this catch my attention?
✔️ What made me want to click (or ignore it)?
✔️ Why does this feel engaging, while another email feels like white noise?

And today, I’m bringing you inside my brain. We’re going to dissect a sales email that landed in my inbox, break down what worked, and diagnose exactly where it missed the mark.

This will be an eye-opener if you’re looking to improve your email marketing and messaging.

Let’s Audit This Sales Email

The email we’re analyzing today comes from a well-known full-service agency with a signature group program.

When I read it, my first thought was:
"Oof… this misses the mark."

To be clear—this isn’t a bad email. It’s actually similar to 80% of the marketing emails I receive. But that’s exactly the problem. It blends in. It’s generic. And for a marketing agency, it needs to be doing more.

The Email:

📩 Subject: Make 2025 Your Best Year Yet 🤩

Hey hey Erin,

You’re invited to an EXCLUSIVE game-changing Annual Planning event to kick off 2025 with clarity and confidence.

Because building your dream business and hitting your biggest goals doesn’t happen by chance—it takes focus, determination, and the right plan.

Picture this:

✨ Smashing revenue goals with scalable offers

✨ Working fewer hours, but creating bigger results so you can grow your business with ease

✨ Attracting a surplus of high-paying dream clients

And it all starts at this EXCLUSIVE 2025 Annual Planning Workshop.

This invite-only workshop isn’t your average webinar or masterclass. It’s a 90-minute “get down to business” intensive designed to help you plan your year with intention and strategy.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

Long-Term Vision: We will help you set your long-term vision for your business and your life and ensure that what you’re building today aligns with your future goals.

2025 Goal Setting: We’ll create your 2025 blueprint so you know where you’re headed and the exact right steps to get there.

Real-Time Feedback: This isn’t a classroom, this is a collaborative event where you can get real-time strategic guidance from our team who are implementors and fractional COOs for top-performing companies.

Bonuses: PLUS you’ll walk away with not just knowledge but templates (think worksheets, but cooler) that will ensure you can duplicate this process again and again.

Our team doesn’t typically host these events publicly, and when we do we’ve never sold it for less than $97. BUT, we’re inviting you for just $27.

We were curious so we added up all the value packed into this call and we’re close to $1,000 in value JUST in resources and our team’s time. That means you’re getting strategic guidance (from some of the best in the biz), a comprehensive 2025 blueprint plan, AND templates/resources to repeat the process again and again all while saving over $900.

All the Important Details:

📅 January 31st
⏰ 1-2:30 PM EST
💰 Only $27

Let’s make 2025 the year you reach your biggest goals yet!

[RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW]

Cheers to 2025,

What This Email Does Well

• Clear Call-to-Action: The offer was front and center. I knew exactly what they wanted me to do.

• Benefit-Driven Language: They touched on desirable outcomes—like hitting revenue goals and attracting dream clients.

• Simple Formatting: Easy to read and skim.

Where This Email Falls Flat

*I'll break down each section further down the page, but for now this is a high-level what went well, what could be improved*

1. It Lacks Personality

There’s no sense of the person behind the screen. No story. No relatable hook. Nothing that made me feel connected to the sender.

If you want your emails to convert, they need to sound like you. Think of how you’d talk to a friend—then write like that.

***

2. Too Many Generic and Intangible Features

The email lists what’s included in the workshop but misses tangible takeaways.

Good copy doesn’t just tell people what they’ll get—it makes tells them why it matters.

***

3. Too Much “Pick Me” Energy

Words like “EXCLUSIVE” and “GAME-CHANGING” (especially in all caps) feel overhyped without proof.

If something is exclusive, show me why. If it’s game-changing, prove it. Otherwise, it feels like filler text and reads as salesy.

***

4. Overuse of "We" Instead of "You"

This email had nine “we’s.” One of my top copywriting tips?

💡 Swap any “we” language for “you”— this makes your copy feel like it’s serving the reader instead of being all about the business.

Example:
❌ We created this workshop to help you plan your year.
✅ You’ll walk away with a clear, step-by-step plan to make 2025 your most profitable year yet.

Which one feels more personal?

***

5. No Clear Ideal Client

The email doesn’t make it clear who this event is for. Is it for newer entrepreneurs? Scaling businesses? If you don’t define your audience, your messaging gets diluted.

I’d love to see something in the email that targets their ICA's exact struggles with annual planning. A newer entrepreneur will have very different needs trying to grow their business compared with a scaling entrepreneur aiming for their first 7 or 8-figure year.

If this is for an established entrepreneur (which I know is this company’s target market) wouldn’t they already have an annual plan? It needs to answer the question of why do I need this workshop? Or why is my current annual plan not working for me and yours will? This is where knowing your ICA is so important. You want to know if they already have an annual planning system and what's not working for them so you can position yours as the solution they need.

My favorite questions to ask in this situation would be:

• Why haven’t they had success with their current annual plan?

• What mistakes are they making when it comes to annual planning?

• And what do they think (emphasis here on think) is the solution to making 2025 their best year yet?

The more accurately you describe what’s going through your reader’s head, the more they’ll trust that you have the right solution.

How to Rewrite the Email for Conversions

The Opening

Subject: Make 2025 Your Best Year Yet 🤩

Hey hey Erin,

You’re invited to an EXCLUSIVE game-changing Annual Planning event to kick off 2025 with clarity and confidence.

Because building your dream business and hitting your biggest goals doesn’t happen by chance—it takes focus, determination, and the right plan.

What’s Wrong With It?

🚩 The subject line is too generic—every business owner wants a "great year," but what does that really mean for them?
🚩 "EXCLUSIVE" and "GAME-CHANGING" are fluff words without proof.
🚩 There’s no personal touch or relatable hook to draw the reader in.

The Rewritten Version (Keeping The Original Format)

Hey hey Erin,

You’re invited to our Annual Planning event to kick off 2025 with clarity and confidence.

Building your dream business and hitting your biggest goals doesn’t happen by chance—it takes focus, determination, and the right plan.

Why This Works Better:

✔️ Strips out unnecessary hype words that weaken credibility
✔️ Keeps it clean and simple while still setting the tone for the event
✔️ Retains personality with the “Hey hey” opener

***

The Possibility Section

Picture this:

✨ Smashing revenue goals with scalable offers
✨ Working fewer hours, but creating bigger results so you can grow your business with ease
✨ Attracting a surplus of high-paying dream clients

And it all starts at this EXCLUSIVE 2025 Annual Planning Workshop.

This invite-only workshop isn’t your average webinar or masterclass. It’s a 90-minute “get down to business” intensive designed to help you plan your year with intention and strategy.”

Why It Falls Flat

🚩 The bullet points are too broad—they try to appeal to everyone but end up being skimmed over because they aren't specific enough to connect with the reader.
🚩 The language doesn’t reflect the desires of the ideal client? What does each bullet point mean to the reader? Why should they care?
🚩 “EXCLUSIVE” and "invite-only" feels too hyped. What does invite-only mean? I'm a regular subscriber to their email list. It comes across as having a pick-me energy rather than offering genuine transformations or solutions.

The Rewritten Version (More Specific & Relatable)

Picture this:

🔹 Breaking away from being capped at time and money in your 1:1 business model
🔹 Having relaxed launches where you’re not working more than 20 hours a week
🔹 Making consistent $30K months thanks to the payment plans of your scalable offers

This is possible when you have a dialed-in annual strategy.

Why?

Because it pulls apart what’s been working, what hasn’t, and creates an intentional blueprint for hitting your goals. Rather than being reactive to day-to-day fires, you’ll plan your year with a strategy that paves the way for long-term success.

Unlike other annual planning offers, this isn’t a presentation-style class where you sit back and listen to the “how” it’s done.

Your 2025 planning workshop is a hands-on experience where you’ll work through four phases:

1️⃣ Reflection – Identify what’s working and what needs to change
2️⃣ Long-Term Visioning – Set goals that align with your bigger-picture business and lifestyle
3️⃣ Goal Setting – Break down your vision into actionable, measurable steps
4️⃣ Project Planning – Turn those goals into a step-by-step roadmap for the year ahead

Why This Works Better:

✔️ More specific and relatable – Instead of generic “revenue goals,” we outline the exact benefits specific to the ideal clients situation
✔️ Explains why the annual planning process matters instead of assuming the reader understands the value
✔️ Uses structure (the four phases) to make the content more engaging and digestible

***

The Features Section

Here’s what we’ll cover:

Long-Term Vision: We will help you set your long-term vision for your business and your life and ensure that what you’re building today aligns with your future goals.

2025 Goal Setting: We’ll create your 2025 blueprint so you know where you’re headed and the exact right steps to get there.

...

Why It Falls Flat

🚩 The subheading is weak. "Here’s what we’ll cover" doesn’t spark interest or stop the scroll—it sounds like an agenda, not a must-attend event.
🚩 The bullet points don't show transformation. They list what is included, but don’t explain why these things matter or how they actually help the reader.
🚩 There’s no emotional connection. The copy doesn’t address the reader’s frustrations with planning or why their previous attempts haven’t worked in the past.
🚩 Objections aren’t addressed. Many entrepreneurs have tried goal-setting before—why will this time be different?

The Rewritten Version

This isn’t just about “goal setting.” This is CEO-level planning.

Here’s what you’ll do during this 90-minute intensive:

✨ Clarify Your Long-Term Vision
You’ll reflect on the business and lifestyle you actually want to create. Through this process, you can assess what’s currently working, what’s not, and make strategic course corrections before another year passes in the wrong direction.

✨ Build Your 2025 Growth Blueprint
This isn’t a generic “to-do list” that makes you feel more overwhelmed than accomplished. You’ll walk away with a clear, actionable roadmap that aligns every decision, project, and priority with your bigger vision—so you’re not hustling harder, you’re scaling smarter.

✨ Get Real-Time Feedback on Your Plan
No more second-guessing or overcommitting your schedule. This is a live, interactive session where you’ll get direct guidance from experts who have helped business owners scale without the burnout.

✨ Take Home Done-for-You Planning Templates
The exact templates we use with our agency clients use to set strategic goals, track progress, and execute on their vision without getting lost in the day-to-day chaos.

By the end of this workshop, you won’t just have a plan that collects dust throughout the year. You’ll walk away with a roadmap to think, decide, and lead like the CEO your business needs for its next level. You’ll step up as the leader who creates her growth—with clarity, intention, and momentum.

Why This Works Better

✔️ Stronger subheading – Calls out the transformation and speaks to ambitious entrepreneurs
✔️ Makes it feel interactive – Instead of a passive “covering topics,” it frames the session as an experience that can't be missied.
✔️ Addresses objections – Many business owners have planned before but still struggle—this copy explains why this workshop will be different
✔️ Taps into identity transformation – It’s not just about goal-setting, it’s about becoming the type of CEO who leads their business strategically

***

The Urgency & Call-to-Action (CTA)

Our team doesn’t typically host these events publicly, and when we do we’ve never sold it for less than $97. BUT, we’re inviting you for just $27.

We were curious, so we added up all the value packed into this call, and we’re close to $1,000 in value JUST in resources and our team’s time. That means you’re getting strategic guidance (from some of the best in the biz), a comprehensive 2025 blueprint plan, AND templates/resources to repeat the process again and again, all while saving over $900.

All the Important Details:

📅 January 31st
⏰ 1-2:30 PM EST
💰 Only $27

Let’s make 2025 the year you reach your biggest goals yet!

[RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW]

Why It Falls Flat

🚩 Overhyped value stacking. Stating that the event is “worth $1,000” but is only $27 feels exaggerated. People can see through inflated value claims.
🚩 The urgency doesn’t feel real. There’s no actual reason why they need to sign up now instead of waiting.
🚩 Focuses too much on price, not on transformation. Instead of leading with what they’ll get out of the workshop, it tries too hard to justify the low price.

The Improved CTA (More Compelling & Action-Driven)

Why This Workshop? Why Now?

Scaling a business is different from starting one. It’s not about working harder or chasing every new idea—it’s about mastering the right skills, making the right decisions, and putting systems in place that let you scale without burning out.

This is your opportunity to step back, zoom out, and plan 2025 with clarity and focus. To be the visionary of your business who doesn’t just react—but architects growth.

You’re not here to hustle harder.

You’re here to build smarter, lead stronger, and create the kind of business that reflects the boldest version of who you are.

This isn’t just another goal-setting session. This is about:

🚀 Creating a real action plan, so you’re not stuck in analysis paralysis
🚀 Mapping out and reverse engineering your revenue goals (without burnout)
🚀 Building a business that fits your desired lifestyle

The Details You Need to Know

📅 When: January 31st, 1–2:30 PM EST
💰 Investment: $27 (our lowest rate ever for this type of workshop)
🎟️ Reserve Your Spot Now: Click here to sign up

This is a rare chance to work directly with our team without being a 4-figure/month agency client. You’ll leave with the mindset, strategy, and momentum to have your biggest year of growth—however that looks for you.

Let’s make 2025 the year you take your business to the next level—and build the kind of life and business you’ve been working so hard for.

H3: Why This Works Better

✔️ Shifts the focus from price to transformation – Shows why this workshop will be valuable
✔️ Speaks to future identity and purpose—not just the functional benefits of planning.
✔️ Adds realistic urgency – “ a rare chance to work directly with our team without being a 4-figure/month agency client"

Final Takeaways – How to Write Emails That Convert

🔹 Use natural, conversational language—your emails should feel like a one-on-one chat.
🔹 Ditch the generic fluff—words like "exclusive" and "game-changing" need proof.
🔹 Be specific about who it’s for—the more personal and specific, the better it converts.
🔹 Make your features benefit and transformation based—show them that this is different to competitors offerings.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Copy to Freedom: The Podcast. Subscribe for more lighthearted, inspirational, and actionable chats about business, marketing, and reclaiming your freedom.

Connect with Erin:

Website: https://erinmorris.co/

Instagram: @LaunchWithErin

Would you love a free 30-min strategy call with me? These strategy calls have previously been reserved for my DFY high-ticket clients and are valued at over $250.

All you have to do is leave the show an honest review. Take a screenshot and send it to [email protected] and you’ll go into the monthly draw to win a 1:1 strategy call. These calls will be a gamechanger if you’ve got an upcoming launch or need an existing piece of copy improved.